On this episode of Establishing Your Empire I host Nelson Tressler. Nelson’s early life was filled with trauma, struggle, and court trials. But although his childhood was something that many of us couldn’t fathom going through, he was able to turn his life around in a positive way. He set goals, kept a positive mindset, and stayed accountable to his actions and has developed the IGotSmarter App and wrote a book, The Unlucky Sperm Club, to help others do the same. We discuss how you are not a victim of your circumstances but a product of your choices. We talk about how to start a business or write a book and how to simply design a better life.
If you can do something that you’re passionate about, but also have a secure nut so you’re not worried about living and your survival’s being taken care of. Then you have some gestation period between success or failure and success, you know, so I’ve truly believed you’ve got to keep hitting the ball.
All of that experience is something that I love because I learned how to communicate and connect. And it was just a beautiful experience, you know? So. Yeah, I mean, I failed, but it was, it was beautiful.
All right. I got Neil here on the establishing your empire podcast. Thanks so much for coming by the house and doing this.
Thank you for having me. I’m. I want to just say, I apologize for all the scheduling issues, trying to get this going. It’s been it’s been a time when I’ve been making some transitions and, and I appreciate your.
course, you know, the thing about a podcast, it’s always a want to have not a need to have. So I totally understand. And it actually happens. Yeah. It’s not the first time know it will be less. So luckily I get to do these at my home office, so I don’t have to like go someplace or schedule something. So it’s not, not too difficult to set up, but why don’t we start off with the seemingly easy question, but not always.
It’s just tell us a little bit about yourself.
Who are you, Neil? Yeah. So grew up in Minnesota. And my parents you know, came from India. So I have an Indian background and basically lived a pretty nice childhood. My grandparents raised me, my parents were both entrepreneurs and were very much into work.
So I had a childhood. And I got really amazing wisdom for my grandparents. My grandparents were into aryuveda and all these amazing things. And my dad was kind of more of an entertainer salesperson type vibe got into janitorial or janitorial products and stuff. But mostly he was a fun person to be around and he taught me how to dance.
And I used to dance like Michael Jackson as a business, as a child. So I had a very interesting childhood. I was like one of the only Indian kids in my, in my town. So I felt somewhat special and different, but also had a pretty normal childhood for the most part. I had some traumas for sure. Broke my hips and my legs and all sorts of things, probably due to some dancing and also just, you know, parenting in the way that they were parented, you know, which is a common theme in most people’s stories.
Which leads me to some of the work I do. But yeah, grew up in Minnesota loved tennis and table tennis and racquet sports
that actually, yeah. Yeah, for
sure. But yeah, overall just had a pretty cool life there. Certain things definitely like, you know, are my roots in Minnesota still, but overall, now, Texas man.
And how long have you been here in Austin? I’ve been here
eight years. Oh yeah. Nice. Since 2008. So I’ve been here for a little bit as well and seeing the growth and the change. Austin has been both positive and negative. I’ve enjoyed seeing the city grow and I’d rather be in a growing city than a dying city, but there’s also some.
You know, the life changes out of the city. Right. So why don’t you tell us a little bit more real quick and we can go through kind of how you got there, but tell us, like, when, when you talk about your businesses, you are now, what’s kind of the main thing that you’re doing. Cause it seems like there’s a lot
Yeah. So the main thing would be cacao that’s that’s the thing that I’m most passionate. And it was also a big part of my healing journey is using various plant medicine and then noticing how cacao this chocolate bean can, can make someone so much happier and also take them out of their, their head with.
You know, I used to drink coffee and teas and all these things that would put me very stimulated and this was really amazing. And so I asked myself, you know, this is my passion, what can I do about it? And I wanted to focus on creating more ceremonial cacao on this planet. 95% of the cacao in this world is hybridized.
And, and it’s kind of like a sacred thing that I believe can have a lot of change and help a lot of people. Needs to be preserved. So what’s the difference between
cacao and chocolate?
So chocolate is like an after thought of what the original thing is, which is cacao. And a lot of times as a Dutch process of alkalizing and making cacao into chocolate.
So it’s it’s kind of like taking sugar cane and making it into some form of sugar. But it’s not the original thing as such and most of the chocolate you find is not the original the actual genetics of chocolate. So,
and like, so people that are sitting at the cows probably extremely small compared to like what, where it should be like on those journey with cacao, like what stage or level do you think you’re at or want to get to at, or wherever you want to
Right. So, I mean, I feel like I’m at a stage where I can taste and feel and know a lot about what I’m consuming. It’s kinda like a Somia in wine. When you consume something enough and various types, you get a knowledge about it. And I feel like I have a pretty solid knowledge about it. I’d love to still learn more.
And then also I’ve been meeting connections through the cacao world. And there’s people who specialize in keeping the sacred bean and my dream and my goal. And my next investment is only focused on standardizing that process and making sure that people start labeling that, making sure the ceremonial beans are rectified, notified, and know people know that they’re consuming.
It’s a lot of times, you know, you get this fair trade and it’s, it’s nothing like that. It’s just. Something
and because it was just my lack of knowledge. Like some, when you say seminar, ceremonial, excuse me. Like what’s it actually mean? Like is that is actually actually what we do in a ceremony or is it something
It’s all of the it’s a ceremony is the actual genetics. So there’s three types of genetics beans that are well-known Trinitarios, Creole, and Fronterra. So these types of things. Are the ceremonial beans, the original beans that were found in 7,500 years ago, potentially in the rainforest potentially either Ecuador, Peru, it’s still, no one really knows, you know proof says it’s found first their equity versus his boundaries there.
But I used to work for the rainforest partnership and I learned a lot about some of the details on the history and a lot of the actual science behind it. So ceremony is conducted definitely with intention. So. It’s not like you’re making your morning cup of Joe. But you can do that with ceremony, like a cow and you you’re basically setting your intention.
You’re doing some form of energy release, so it could be breath work. It could be movement, it could be dance. It could be even journaling for that matter, but various traditions have different ways of activating the medic. And you literally are almost, you know, praying and into the cup and drinking it.
And then going through some form of catharsis, like a cathartic release, where you’re able to feel incense and emotion that hasn’t been seen and are held and you’re able to express it and fully move through it. And how
is that based upon the actual, what you’re drinking and then and how much is your for less
It’s, it’s there. I mean, you can’t drink a cow and go to sleep. You know, it’s going to do something to you and just that. And it has all these amazing bliss molecules. There’s actual chemicals in. A medicine that activates releases oxytocin. So the first time you fall in love that energy is in the body.
And if you’re aware of it, you’re going to feel it. Yeah. And you know, so for
me, that’s super interesting. Cause I think we always have emotions tied to a lot for things. Foods want them drinks, coffee, all this. And I think a lot of people have some positive and negative emotions to coffee. I wasn’t a big coffee drinker.
I was, I’m more of a, I like a lot. So like. Which is still, you know, a higher stimulant caffeine, but we did our honeymoon in Africa, on a safari and, you know, they serve your coffee and it’s like this fantastic coffee outside your door, right. When you wake up. And so I don’t, I’ve been drinking coffee more now.
Cause I think I just, you know, have this positive emotions towards it, but I still only like the cold brew because I just don’t. I think it’s too acidic. I think in my mind so I think a lot of us are looking for that stimulate and what I, what I’ve found that if I, you know, coffee, a lot of times isn’t enough.
I have to actually be out and move around because I sit in front of a computer all day. So how can somebody that just a normal, like, you know, office worker or whatever. This is something in the morning type of thing.
What do you recommend? Yeah, so coffee and cacao are kind of like, then they’re like the opposites of each other.
They both have similar ingredients. Both of them have theobromine, but the amount of theobromine in cacao is like the amount of caffeine in coffee. You, so it’s like complete opposite in that sense. There’s still coffee, caffeine. And. But it’s kind of the amount where it, instead of energetically bringing you a lot here, it brings you a lot here.
It’s, it’s literally theobromine is a hard opener. That’s what it’s made to do. So it’s definitely something anyone can consume. And I think it’s better for work for me. I feel like being in a happier place when I’m working feels better. And if you look at my organization, everyone seems to be more joyful.
But just like anything, moderation is very important. So I. Even cacao fasts, and one cup of coffee requires 32 glasses of water to balance your internal pH. So just like anything, like if you’re on a honeymoon and you’re drinking really good wine from France, you know, that’s going to be amazing. And our body has certain limitations, right.
So if we’re not actually healthy, it has some form of. Anything can be not so good for us. Right. I feel that way about it. Mostly. Yeah. I mean, I think
balance is not just in food and drinks. It’s just about everything. Why don’t you? Well, let’s back up, but I love that because it’s just something, I have very little knowledge of it, but I’m always interested in, in you know, new things and trying to.
You know, work in front of the computer. Like I said, it’s not, it’s not everyday I can get out and about, and I am a very energetic type of a person to always looking for new ways to do that. But let’s talk about kind of your journey a little bit. So, so you were, you did a lot of dancing as a kid. Like what, what, what, tell me go any way anywhere you want to go in the path?
Yeah, sure. So you know, in Minnesota I was dancing. I had a lot of fun. Expressing myself, but then there was the trauma part. So that’s kind of like the work even cacao helps with is is that, so, you know, I went to college in Wisconsin and in Florida, as well as England, I went to three different colleges and I studied hospitality and the reason I got into hospitality is my father was in pharmaceuticals.
And he used to travel a lot and I used to go visit with him and these awesome hotels. And I just loved the feeling of people being taken care of and just this amazing people, love food. And I love food. I’m a foodie myself. And it was like learning that, that hospitality feeling of, of creating a space where people feel welcome and at home.
So that’s the path I went on. And, and then I was working at a hotel. I was 21 years old. I was a director of catering for 300. And I had gained so much weight from just the Western lifestyle. And that’s when I went back into what my grandparents taught me, the, you know, the way my grandma would procure and garden, and my grandpa would go to like four or five different stores and markets to get the right foods and the right vegetables.
It was that I learned that sensitivity. And, and in that sensitivity, I. Implementing aryuveda and implementing the doses and balance and went down that path. So a cacao and all those things came later on in life, but it was first healing, the body and healing the mind and healing the soul and getting out of the toxic lifestyle that I was living.
So, and then how
I actually, like, you know, I’m sure 24 years old, 20, 25, how did you actually move to that next step? Right. You’re working in a job, you know, that’s unhealthy, but like some of those. It’s sometimes it’s really hard for people
to move out of that. Totally. It was, it was addicting. I was getting paid very well.
I was in a partnership with a very beautiful human and we were connected from college and we were on the marriage path and everything. And my parents came up to me one morning and told me we have an amazing opportunity. My parents have a janitorial and sanitation supply company and a company in India.
One of the largest companies in. Approached us to do a joint venture. So my parents were like, we need you to leave your job and we’re moving to India. And so my, my partner and I both moved to India and we started working and doing this joint venture. The joint venture took a long time and a lot of money.
And in that process, I took my American express card and I started. Importing care team. My mom was flying into New York city before she to drive in India and getting care team treatments done. So it basically takes your, your fuzzy frizzy hair and it makes it flat and beautiful for a period of four to six months.
So I, I contacted my mom’s salon and I started, I became the first, the only importer of care team in India. So that’s, that was one of the things I did for three years. And my mom is still doing that. So that was, that was like going to India and immersing myself in the culture. It became really easy to just start living healthily and having support.
For someone who’s
never been to India. Just a quick side question, like where what’s your favorite places where to go?
What do you love about India? India is like, I feel like I’m such a culturally fruitful place where people just are comfortable being with each other. I love India. And I love the food and just the very, the, the, just the variants that are there.
You know, you go to north India, south India, it’s so different everywhere in even the way they consume, even the way they believe in terms of spirituality. So different. My favorite place is called gold. And go is like a peninsula. And it’s one of the most beautiful places. If you asked me it’s been owned by the Portuguese a lot and no one really owns Goa.
It goes between India and various governments. And it’s just one of those very sovereign places where people go to vacation and people go from all over the world. Kind of like Bali. I don’t know if you’ve been to Bali or I haven’t.
Yeah, but obviously
know about Bali, but you know, the BGS and the John Lennon and all those guys used to go in and create palaces there.
And there’s beautiful places all over and it’s amazing. It’s like scooter life, you, you drive a scooter around. Eat fresh food and it’s really good.
That sounds amazing. So you’re importing and doing all this, what happens next? W why, why did you stop doing it? I
guess, stopped. So, you know, it was part of my own growth, you know, like as an Indian son, only one Indian son, Belief that I had to take care of my family and I had to create something for them in order for their lives to move forward.
And it was all these things that I had to work through in order to start fulfilling my own dreams and my own passions and carotene. Wasn’t my passion. So I decided to go back to the U S and rebuild my life again. And, and I had different thoughts on what I wanted to do with that business. I also became very aware of health and just the way.
The world worked in certain ways of, of just toxins and things. And I truly believe that keratin wasn’t good for humans, you know, personally. So I didn’t want to put my energy into it anymore, you know? And so I came back and I hustled and, and rebuilt myself. And yeah, it was cool. So what was the next thing that you
did that was successful or
anything that, yeah, so I started another business.
It was called outstanding dining. It was kind of like a group on for restaurants, family owned restaurant. And local charities. So charities that I believed in and, and so I would tie them together and it was basically like an app and I got, I think 75 local, Minnesota restaurants signed up and we were doing that for a bit.
And then, yeah, it wasn’t, it wasn’t something that really took off, but
w w well, one of the questions I like to ask about, like, starting something like that is there’s always so many want to be entrepreneurs. And they always want to start something. And you know, I think one of the traits of entrepreneurship is maybe just allowing, not hearing all the no’s before you start or whatever it is, but like any tips or tricks, I’ve just actually getting started with that
Yeah. I mean, If you can do something that you’re passionate about, but also have a secure, not say you’re not worried about living, you know, your survival’s being taken care of. Then you have some gestation period between success or failure and success, you know, so I truly believe you got to keep hitting that.
You know, like the only way you’re going to be able to hit that ball with confidence and authority is, is by not doing that first. You know? So I, I just, all of that experience is something that I love because I learned how to communicate and connect and it was just a beautiful experience, you know? So yeah, I mean, I failed, but it was, it was beautiful.
and did you have like a side hustle that you were watching perhaps,
or. It’s still in the hospitality industry. I was a general manager for a hotel and arrested. Even in between those years, I was a chef at a restaurant. I also was a bartender. I ran a, a local that’s actually not local it’s based in Denver, but it was a pop-up bartending service.
So I was a manager of that. I did all these things, you know, just to keep the doors open and keep moving. You know,
it’s so funny. It’s very civil me. I’m always doing multiple things, but chef real quick. What’s your favorite? Like seasoning, like if you have a go-to one that you just kind of always have to have.
Yeah. So it’s not a have to have, but I’d really love truffle. Okay. Yeah. I can go for, you know, making anything truffle, like, you know, it has its own grounding feel to it and it’s nice. Yeah. Yeah. And
that, that took off where now a lot of things aren’t actual truffle,
but truffle it’s true.
Yeah. Ma I think mine would have to be lemon pepper is, seems so basic.
It can take some very boring dishes and at least give some life to it at least a little bit. And if you don’t have lemon pepper, then you know, obviously lemons and pepper work actually even better, but just a little bit more effort to put in there. So what was one of the things that maybe worked or didn’t work that’s of note with the with, I forget what the business was that we were doing.
Yeah. That the hot, that, where you had the multiple
areas, what did, what worked and didn’t work? Yeah. Yeah, just getting into the heart of like, getting to know people and getting to know what they needed and being able to communicate from the heart space, that was like the best experience. And also recognizing like my dream of wanting to own a restaurant needed it.
It’s still there, but I knew that there was time between when I was going to start it and you know, all of that, just like learning. Absorb wisdom, you know, and, and see the hard work people put into their business and then try to be there for them in the most integral way possible. So, yeah, I mean, that was, that was, it was a loss in the sense, like, I couldn’t fulfill all their dreams, but I got to at least experience, you know, a lot of what it takes to be a restaurant owner.
So what kind of restaurant would you want? Yeah, I’ve got an, I’ve got a really good idea. It’s a farm to table. Are you Vedic restaurant? So like, I love Casa and I’m a huge fan of Casa. But I would love to make something like Casa, but more plant like flavor. And I’m more of the curries and the, and the, in the long take, like things that take a long time to make like the long taken curries and the boss monkeys, rice, and the and things, making something like that, where it happens serves only once a day.
But food is being created all day, you know, and that you can taste that flavor in that work it’s been created. So I think some of
that was great because one just like tactically, like something can show up and get their food pretty quickly. Right. Because it’s, it’s ready to go and you can make it in mass.
Right. As opposed to. Having everything being very specific. And then you could also tell really great stories around your ingredients because it’s in season or you got at the certain farm or whatever. I could see that doing really well. Also with that. Is this something that you could do pop-ups with, you can start that way, right.
And to test some stuff out,
you know, Casa allows me to cook in their restaurant and I’ve done it a few times where I’ve had a Curry nights and things. And I
give a little quick background on Casa. Cause there’s a lot of people I actually have there’s all over the world. So sometimes they
won’t. So let me tell you a little bit about Casa, Casa de.
Is a macrobiotic restaurant, but it’s also like a spiritual center. It’s a space, a community space where they have facilities all over my business. Third eye meditation lounge is inside, along with another other businesses. And it’s a beautiful nonprofit been around for 30 years. Serving similar food for 30 years and it’s all a hundred percent organic.
They try to do as local as possible. And it literally feels like integrity. Just walking into the space. It’s like this beautiful, very tropical feeling that you are.
I feel like you’re in a different country, but you walk in and it’s like downtown Austin, which I’m sure 30 years ago was not even downtown at all.
Right on the way from downtown to Zilker park or something. But. Let’s see, actually, that’s take a side note because there’s so many different areas. I do want to talk about meditation because I think. Something that’s very helpful, helpful for a lot of people, but a lot of people don’t know who or where to start.
And we can talk about it in any direction you want to go. I do think that people would get some value on like how to start meditating and where to,
yeah. I’ll just talk about a few things about meditation that I know that’s based on my experience. You know, I believe we all, I believe that the. The body keeps the score and the issues are in the tissues and our nervous system and how we feel in our body is really important on how much you can meditate.
So if you don’t feel good in your body, it’s going to be more difficult for you to manage. It’s gonna be more difficult to calm the nervous system down and to process certain things within the body. So, I mean, for me, I started out and I went to Vipassana and I did the 10 day silent meditation retreat, which helped me face a lot of.
Has helped me face a lot of my trauma and, and allow the feelings that I wouldn’t allow myself to feel that come up. And that was very helpful from there. I learned all sorts of techniques and ways to meditate and, and also heal my body. Cause I think it’s a simultaneous thing. You, you, you can meditate, you know, forever.
But then you can also integrate some of that stuff. So it’s kind of like taking. I re a backpack when you need a suitcase. And if you, if you don’t heal the body, it’s going to feel like you’re always on a shorter journey than you could be on. Essentially. Does that make sense? It does.
And I’ll take it another side note.
Cause as though it was fun. So you’re like the third pipe, probably fourth or fifth, actually they have done these, you know, these long-term silent retreats, right? Maybe walk us through a little bit of that a little bit more. Cause I think it’s so interesting. Something that I haven’t done, but it’s
something that I’m very interest.
Yeah. So I went to the DAMA, Siri, Kaufman, Texas, it’s this organization is beautiful. They have these centers around the world and it’s, donation-based they take care of you, housing, food, you know, everything you need. And it’s just this little room that you get and it’s so beautiful. This. So my experience was I walked into this room.
I have my suitcase, and there’s nothing really that you can bring into this other than like clothes and that’s it. No supplements, just you. And it was really cool. So I walk in this room. I’m in here, got a schedule. And it’s basically 10 hours or so of meditation or learning your there’s some, some classwork.
There’s a, there’s a, a man who started his foundation who’s passed and he’s got videos that you listen to every night. The cool thing about it is if you’re, if you’re with what, what has happened. Every question you have gets answered in those videos each night, which is interesting. This guy obviously put this program together with a lot of intention and you do have questions.
I feel like I had questions and you can’t really speak to anybody about it. So this, this video at night, it was really helpful, but it’s basically breakfast at six in the morning. You get a lunch, a small lunch, and then a small dinner, and then you’re basically. One hour meditations is happening every, every hour.
And then you, you’re kind of like just in a spot where you don’t move for an hour. Each time the meditation happens. And the first three days you’re concentrating only on the air that’s coming out of your nose. And then it goes deeper. So there’s different practices that you’re learning, but really you’re learning body awareness.
You’re learning sensations, and you’re also learning to come up and feel the blocks because there will be blocks that come up when you’re not dealing with anything in the world, other than yourself. You will start to feel some of the things that are potentially within you. And do you
go in there with like a goal and, you
know, I, you know, I, I did
like a business idea or this or that, or relationship
health, or I think after the first one, you could probably do more of that.
Maybe if you do come in with the goal, that goal might not be apparent. If you face something else within your soul’s journey. You know, so I don’t want to say, you know, I know,
right? Yeah. Because you’ve been through it and back to just the normal meditation, I think a lot of people have troubles quieting their brain.
And obviously it’s very easy to reach for your phone or TV or, or whatever it is or a drink, or you can go on a large list there. What’s some just basic tips. I think for someone who. You know, they, they hear that 10 day retreat and that that’s way too much, but maybe they’re starting to feel like they need to start doing something.
What’s a great way to just,
yeah, totally. There’s some really cool techniques that you can do prior to meditation. So I say getting all the energy that stagnant or anything that’s within the body, getting that up, moving, shaking a tap. That’s really good. And then there’s also these little devices you can get there’s meditation devices, you can actually use they can do light therapy.
There’s something called a NuCalm, which puts Gabba on your PCIX. Right. Right here, it’s an acupuncture pressure point and it literally helps you shut down the brain. And then there’s followed by that there’s actual sounds that connect with the GABA and helped you get into a meditative state. So I actually love that.
I use that on a lot of my clients. And that’s just great for anybody you do that for an hour or half an hour, even it’s like four or five, six hours of additional sleep that your body receives from that transmission. So it’s
interesting that you say the tabbing cause I, what I do use in this, I guess you could be in the meditative area, but when I get nervous, I count my breasts and tap my fingers.
And I’ll do a three and three out just to kind of reset myself. And what’s great is you could do it without anybody knowing it’s, especially before you know, you’re giving a big speech or something. It’s a great way to just quit thinking about all the, what ifs and all these nervousness that are popping up and just focus on breathing.
And I think the tapping helps with that. It was Tony Robbins that I heard that did that. I don’t remember where it was from, but that’s what was very helpful. That’s very basic because he could just do it on the side. And you’ve kind of talked about, and I know we were going to jump around the journey, but you’ve talked about clients.
So when, when you say that
what’s that mean project, me and my partner, and a few other healers, it’s called a rooted integration project, a rooted integration project.com. It’s basically a four week program where we help reset the nervous system, get the gut health, the brain health, the heart health, and creating basically more, more coherence.
So we use heart math. We use a Tre, which is tremor release exercises. A lot of times trauma is stuck in the psoas and we help release just basic trauma in the body. And then we teach various meditative techniques, clearing technique. And we also have a shaman who helps with some ceremony work. So plant medicine potentially can be used, but we meet people where they’re at.
And most importantly is for people to help develop a secure attachment to them. So they understand, you know, what they’re bringing to the world and understand the separateness and the connectedness in between.
What’s kind of a, either a normal client or an ideal
client for you guys. Yeah. So someone who potentially, you know, has trauma or has found awareness with the trauma, doesn’t know how to actually heal or integrate someone who’s taken plant medicine who needs some support.
Someone who’s lost a family member, anybody who’s needing emotional connectedness, also inner child healing. So we, we do regression work. We do a lot of emotional work, so people are having hard time accessing their emotions. We help them do that. Yeah.
So it’s kind of, you know, I guess a different way of kind of a psychologist with a little bit of you know, but also with the body, it sounds like too, kind of the
merging of all the bodies, mind, body spirit.
So all of it.
Yeah. I’ll I’ll yeah, that’s a great way to put it. And how’d you even get into that stuff, obviously, you’ve you kind of have this interesting path and you were getting more connected to yourself. And then a follow up question with that is how did you make that into a business? Cause that’s something that’s super interesting.
I think a lot of people start getting involved in these unique areas that might not be so mainstream, but then they just kind of keep it to themselves or just
do with their friends. I studied tantra, I learned seven levels of a lineage and I just started teaching. I had a clients about 10 years ago.
I started. Just implementing all the things I learned after two years of celibacy, after going through my own progress of the program, I learned from this couple who’ve been teaching for 40 plus years. They were 70 plus years old and they had all this energy and vitality and I was. Sign me up, you know, so that was my first teaching.
I become certified in somatics and Reiki and all sorts of things. But Tanisha was for me, one of the most important things that I wanted to bring to the Western world in an appropriate integral way. So I started teaching the COVID. And I did this a hundred day celibacy course about seven or eight years ago here in Austin.
And it was a huge success. I think we, we made like 50 grand, you know, and it was awesome. It was like, wow, this, this actually is great. And, and to this day, a lot of these students are people very much involved in my life and I’ve seen so much progress from it. I believe you have to root down to right.
And tantra is one of the greatest tools to root down, to rise up, to get strong in your core and your mulabandha and in the lower parts. And so it was tantra that taught me a lot of these foundational work. And from there, I just studied everything I could possibly study. And I put together a program based on what I thought worked best.
And it’s always improving. I’m always taking more courses and learning more that I can implement with this project.
So what about the haters that sit there and say that. You making money off of this stuff. Do you have any, any flack in that
area? Of course, money and I think is very powerful. And you know, if you’ve read rich dad, poor dad, you know, you’ll understand just the basic concepts and power around money and.
If you value something and, and you want to do something about it, money has to be exchanged. And I think that’s important. So I
see money as fuel, right? And because you have to have it, and let’s say in your field, if you want to reach five people and stuff like that, that’s fine. You don’t have to, you don’t have to charge for it.
But if you want to reach 5,000 or 5 million, you’re going to have to have some fuel
a hundred percent, a hundred percent. If I don’t feel comfortable with the work I’m doing, if I don’t feel. In that exchange. I don’t want to be there. And it’s it’s energy for me to be able to share that space. So I value it.
It’s not cheap. Our program is $4,000 per month and I don’t think that’s a small investment. It’s a mortgage for some people. So, you know, nice mortgage.
Yeah. But you know, it’s also investment in yourself is what in a lot of people that want it want to get to the next level. To me selling on value is different than selling.
Like, you know, I’m going to give you these four attributes to whatever you’re saying. Hey, what if I can. Really some blockage of you. So you could invest in some place or starting a company, or
not only that is preventative medicine, right? So it’s genetic work that we do that help prevent things that are in your genetic line.
So we do actual gene work. It’s crazy. Like you can prevent a lot of things that your parents went through. If you get awareness, And that’s, that’s all it is. And that you can’t pay. If you can’t go to the Western, you can’t go to a doctor and you can’t even go to a psychologist to find that information it’s deep work.
I say, you know, parents of alcoholic or something is that, and that’s kinda what you’re saying is,
and fix something like that. Not even fix it first, we figured out the root of how it started. That’s how trauma works. It’s it’s, it’s something that happened too fast, too quick, too soon. You didn’t have any way of, of processing or.
Finding the ground from there. So you’re still holding something that’s nervous in the body. That’s, that’s how trauma works, really. So it could be that they’re traumatized from something within their family line that caused the alcoholic gene to turn on. So we then find that and access it and process and heal.
was it. Are there any traumatic trauma there that you would like to share that, that you went through that got you on this
I mean, I went through a lot of things with my own father and my mother that, you know, definitely taught me a lot about how to even recognize trauma. I didn’t even know I was traumatized for so long and that’s a lot of people’s story.
Sometimes people think that this happy go lucky lifestyle in life. And trauma, what happens is it when it comes up you get to see some of the parts and the areas in which these patterns are stored and you get to heal, not just that aspect, but your, your family’s reason for carrying it too. So it’s really beautiful.
The circle that happens. Wait, sorry, what was the question again? There was
some traumatic stuff that you .
So when I was a child, I walked into a party with my parents and very nice lush. Beautiful home. And, and I don’t know exactly what it was, but there was an energy there and this, this person was unbuttoning my coat and fondling me right in front of my father.
And for a long time, that was an unprocessed trauma that caused me to not first of all, trust men, my father, and we had a huge gremlin between us for a long time, which got cause a lot of abandoned us and all sorts of things. But I’m at a point where I recognize. His story and all the things that created that incident, you know, and no longer causing blame and shame and all the things around that.
Well thank you for sharing that’s I mean, that’s that stuff can, you know and I’m very happy also on the flip side of it, that you’ve been able to recognize it, which is a big step and then, and deal with it to move through it because you don’t want that weight
to carry around forever. Trauma you carry people’s pain.
That’s not yours. You know, so it’s like I was carrying not just my feelings and emotions, but my father’s and his emotion and reaction was also traumatic. So you get to learn these things. And
because he probably felt very, very belittled as well or worthless or whatever it would be. It’s probably more than Muslim.
It was his inner child that was present at that moment to which you get to learn some of these. Through something called completion process, it’s a form of hypnosis that I also have trained in. So yeah. W w
why don’t you give us a little bit more on that? I suppose also there’s so many different areas
and completion process is a tool designed by teal Swan.
And what it is is it’s allowing, let’s say a traumatic incident that happened in your childhood. You there’s a whole set and setting that you create in order to have your adults. Comfort your inner child during that space. So if you have had something in a feeling or emotion, or even an incident that you feel still unsafe around, there’s a, there’s a way to bring your adult self to comfort your inner child.
And that’s what the process really is. It takes about two hours. Oh, wow. Yeah.
And you know, one thing I wanted to get to as well with a lot of these sayings is let’s say that somebody who doesn’t have a lot of money doesn’t live in Austin, Texas, But has some of these, you know, this trauma or traumatic experiences that they do want to begin to work through.
You know what, what’s a good place to start.
we recommend first thing is read the book. It didn’t start with you. That book actually comes with a bunch of worksheets that I utilize for my clients as well. It’s great. It helps you start to uncover and then process. Just learning how to sense your feelings is a great way to start moving emotions that are stuck in the body.
So there’s tools start doing that, and that will bring you to the next thing, which could be yoga or whatever it is that helps start moving the energy or tapping or emotional, you know Tre you know, things like that. So you can find a Tre practitioner in every state in the world, basically. And then what’s,
what’s, you know, what’s five years out for you.
Like, what are you, what
are you looking forward to doing? Totally I hope to have. Created really amazing connections with cacao and potentially owning a farm myself or creating more sustainability for farmers traveling and, and really sharing the medicine that is cacao. I think that’s probably the focus for the next few years.
I’m also potentially working with a franchise advisor. To make third eyes something that we can bring to other cities and to bring to other communities. And that’s also goal. And our do you guys have
plans for just selling like the rock a cow? We do it. I feel like it’s do that now, right? Yeah. Yeah.
And is that more in like a powdered state in a hard, slow?
Well, what we do is we take a cow paste, which is everything that comes from the actual being other than the, than the fruit like the. So the relish or whatever you want to call it. And we, and they grind it up into a paste, so that has all the fat in it.
And when you transport that it’ll melt. Right? So we do focus on making that and we ship it cold a lot of times. But we take that paste and we, we cold crumble it into a powder so people can consume it easier. And that’s one of our flagship products is the third act of cowlick, elixir. And people just add that to their hot water and use one of those little latte mixers.
And you’ve got your morning drink. That’s a
lot of fun. And then. Take a kind of a look back like, all right. So you’ve done a lot of interesting things a bit all over the world. It sounds like. What kind of advice would you give all the way back to like, you know, 16 year old self?
Yeah. Yeah, it would be probably to read certain books, you know, and get more info, get more knowledge around certain things that I feel like I’m playing catch up on now, you know?
So yeah, I mean, it would be to also have, don’t forget to have fun. Yeah. And remember your roots, remember how important it is that that culture brought to you? You know, there was a time and a place where I felt like my culture, wasn’t something I could be proud of and that’s completely shifted as I’ve dived deeper into it.
what about any, so you talked about, you know, we just talked about what you would recommend yourself, but in any regrets or along this path?
Yeah, definitely. Not like regrets, but just. Be slower, you know, just take more time, find, find meditation quicker, you know? I think those are the things, you know I feel like I had a beautiful life, but it happened too quickly and I wish I could have just slowed down a little bit.
I feel like that’s something. And so it would say when they’re older, so it’s great that, you know, maybe we didn’t recognize that when we were 16, but you know, the younger than better to recognize slow down. And I feel like that as well. One thing that I, it was a quote I heard or something. I do firmly believe it, in order to slow down time, you have to create your new experiences because otherwise, if you’re doing the same thing every day, your brain kind of gets on autopilot.
And it’s very
forgettable. Right? I believe that in some aspect, I feel like consistency is good. But then if you can just make 1% shift within consistency. So you’re still consistent, still in the masculine, but then you’re finding creative ways to integrate that consistent thing that you’re doing. So you’re getting better at it or you’re getting optimizing it or whatever it is, you know, so, yeah.
like, and so we do like, I, you know, to have our food at certain times and having shelter had a lot of different things that need to be consistent. Yeah. What about like, I’m sure you get with a ton of these like common myths that you hear in cringe. It could be meditation. It could be in the other areas that you do, but anything that you just want to talk about that like, just kind of, you hear and you kind of
want to talk about, yeah.
So, you know, in Austin it’s really popular now, the hot bats or the hot the sauna and then the cold baths, you know, and, you know, I really feel like putting yourself in a position to be hot and cold. Can be really good for the nerve reset the nervous system sometimes, but doing that constantly doesn’t allow for gestation to happen.
So I really believe integration is being able to go from dissonance to resonance and finding consistency and being resonant. And I feel like right now in our spiritual community, in various plant medicine communities, it’s too much of the medicine. It’s too much of the. The, the party without the, the rest and the meditation and the, and the parts that require integration.
So I know it’s cool to take mushrooms and all these other things, but you know what we’re doing at third eyes, creating classes and spaces where people can integrate, you know, what they’ve learned from their journey and to really slow down, to speed up so that, you know, they have more focus and clarity.
They feel more fulfilled in their life. And I think that’s really important.
So let’s talk more about plant medicine. And I have very little knowledge in this area as in personal out knowledge, but I’m very interested in the area, right. So I’m actually just take it wherever you like it. You know what, what’s a very common questions that people have asked you, or what do you guys start with?
Like w w w
wherever we want to take it. So so in terms of health, just basically, I believe that when we’re healing, we have a lot of symptoms and when we heal too quickly, So when our body is, is doing something internally, that’s moving something too quickly. Energetically our physical body may not be able to handle it.
So you know, Plant medicine can, can be really good if let’s say you have a block that your consciousness can not overcome. Plant medicine can be helpful to help you change your state in order to move through something, you know, that can be potentially painful or traumatic or whatever it may be.
It could be even genetic that you have no idea about that you’re carrying, you know, so. Depending on what it is. There’s various different plant medicines. There’s things that open you up. There’s things that bring you in this things that is various things. So like ketamine is a disassociative. Iowasca is one of those things that can be very spirit.
It’s like a spirit molecule where it connects your soul to, you know, to the earth in a very, in a way that can be very disruptive. Can take a long time to integrate from. So that’s why I believe set and setting are super important. Let’s say you lose a partner of 20 years, you know, and you have a hard time processing it and your children are tired and you don’t have a lot of, you have a lot of time on your hands.
I asked them might be good for you, you know, but let’s say you’re an entrepreneur and you’ve got shit going on and you can’t take two months off for three months off to rest and do that. I will ask us not recommend it. I would potentially recommend maybe mushrooms, which has a quicker gestation time from recovery.
Because these are poisons in our body is going to react in a way that will heal in certain ways. If you’re, if you’re in the right space and you have the right time and you have the right dealers and support around you. So it’s really sentencing. And all these different medicines do different things.
Our Western world is becoming very open to that in our current timeframe, which is cool. However, there’s an extreme to everything, right? So. I really believe, you know, the person who’s procuring the medicine, the person who’s receiving the medicine have really good intentions is coming from a really grounded place.
And, and really decides, you know, this is what I want to do. What do you ask the right person? What they need, you know, and where do you see you kind
of the future of this? I mean, it seems like you said it, you know, the U S itself seemed like they’re becoming more and more open to some of these MDMs and stuff like that.
Where do you see
this? Yeah, like MDME are our sassafras. That’s like more of like, let’s say someone who’s been bitter for a long time, you know, it needs to find more love. It’s a good one for that. What I see it going is, do you know what spiral dynamics is? I do not know. Okay. So spiral dynamics is this, is this a.
Thought belief system in which there’s various types of consciousness that live in our planet right now that if you believe in spiral dynamics, this is the first time in our life where we have so much variety of consciousness. So there’s different groups and people and humans who live in a certain vibration live in a certain lifestyle that carry a certain vibration and consciousness.
That’s why there’s so much difference right now, this very much difference between our parents. Or grandparents and grandchildren, whatever it may be technology and various human or earth changes have created these separations. Not that it’s good or bad, but because of this new consciousness that’s coming, you know, we’re going to have a lot more evolution.
So I believe we’re going to evolve. And, and that’s what I see at our future being is being more evolved society. But with variance, you know, there’s still people in our world living primitively there’s people who are living very much in a technological AI world. So you see how there’s so much variance
and when you say kind of evolve or primitively.
I have, I think I got a pretty good idea what you’re saying, but are you saying basically at some people just won’t make it to the next kind of state that they should be in or they’re just going to live poorly or like, what do you mean?
See, I don’t believe in shooting, you know, are like shooting on me or anyone because everyone has their own life and purpose.
Right. So dogs going to be a dog and maybe next life there’ll be a human, I guess what you’re saying now. Yeah. So that’s the reincarnation aspect of how I believe. So if someone eats Doritos, smoke cigarettes, drinks, alcohol, they’re going to live out their life purpose to whatever it is. Or if you look at like a guy from SunLife organics who completely shifted his life and how now has these juicing places and yo you know, healthy things, people can make a shift, you know, and it’s not any.
Like forced to do. That’s an internal thing, you know? So I, I truly believe everyone’s, life’s purpose is their life’s purpose. And if they decide to upgrade their consciousness, that’s going to be a sovereign personal choice and then they’re going to do it. And then and it could be even a downgrade of consciousness.
very much so. Right. Yeah. And, and kind of that’s, it’s interesting. Cause that’s what. More where I, how I grew up as is believing a lot of those different things. And the religion that I grew up in was very much in the reincarnation of kind of moving your soul to the next journey next step, and try to move up.
C and then there is no hierarchy though. That’s where the sovereignty and the unity comes from because the dog and the, and the, and the, the very evolved person hold the same amount of power that creates the. The same godly energy that circulates in that dog is in that human too. That’s the only way we will be able to see them.
On this dimension. So what does success look like for you? So success for me, I’ve been around, you know, outwardly successful people and I’ve been around people who I never thought would be successful or is successful, but successful to me is feeling really good. And the being so nervous system is happy.
Physical body is happy. Sex life is intact and fruitful. Finances are, are good. Friendships are really strong. Community is strong. So I don’t want to be rich and lonely. I’m not going to be that guy. I don’t care about that. That’s not my end goal. My end goal is to be surrounded by loving, amazing trustful people who are creating in this world.
And, and, and it’s, there’s no like unseen unsaid competition. Creating beautiful creations together and sovereignty, you know, so success to me is being able to give to the world, you know, and, and create with the world. So, yeah.
So what do you think what are you proudest of that you’ve have you’ve accomplished.
So it’s, it’s an internal thing. That’s proud. I don’t, I can’t be proud of it to other people because it doesn’t make sense. But for me to overcome all the physical challenges and to be, you know, an athlete to be a a competitive pickleball player, it feels. Or even tennis player, whatever it is.
I felt like that could have never happened in my life, just from all the difficulties I had from just walking. So that to me is such a thing I’m very proud of. You know, I feel like that’s an accomplishment. Absolutely. Yeah.
Anything that we didn’t cover that
you would like to. So I did start a rejuvenation center in Costa Rica.
I started this thing called blue zones, rejuvenation. I had a tragic incident after I was working for my family’s business and I wasn’t in integrity and I wasn’t living my passion and I lost part of my finger. Oh, wow. I’d never noticed that. Yeah. So I lost part of my finger in a boating accident. I was wakesurfing and a rope got cutter on my arm and I pulled my hand back and it caught my finger and it completely changed my life.
Spirituality wasn’t on the back burner. It was like on the front burner and I was ready to follow my dreams and start third eye and do all the things before I started third, I started blue zones, which blue zones. I dunno if you know who Dan Bittner is. He’s probably a 10 time bestselling author of the blue zones book.
He was a national geographic photographer who made his name and did some amazing things. And. Places around the world that people lived over a hundred years consistently. And that’s what called blue zones. So I studied the blue zones. I got into it and I created a rejuvenation center in Costa Rica called Costa Rica called blue zones rejuvenation center.
So I left everything. I took all the money I had and I invested into this hotel and we converted into a center and we started doing these things and I just fell in love with Costa Rica and retreat. We got a season, this, this letter from a guy named Dan Bittner who wrote those books. And my partners were lawyers who did not want to change the name.
And I was like, I just want to do retreats. You know? So they were like adamant about it. I was like, you know what, I’m going back to Austin. And, and in that time, a gentleman gave me some investment to, to start making elixirs. So I started this whole business, just making it like. And in my retreats, I used to make these really awesome elixirs, cacao, elixirs, and golden milks and all these things to help people feel good in their body.
And that’s kinda how I started out. Third eye is really
interesting. And so is, is that retreats still there?
And no, they went. I was kind of the, the brain around the whole business. They went back to the hotel, but I did build a yoga teak, so they did get to
keep it, keep it. And do you still travel back to Costa
Or I haven’t. You know, I desire to go back, but other places that I desire to put some energy into, it’s so
hard. There’s so many amazing places in the world. I actually haven’t been to Costa Rica because my wife has been multiple times. We’ve been to Nicaragua. I had an amazing experience there and I loved it.
They’ve got good,
good cow there too. I’m sure they do. I’m
there, right? I mean, they’re right next to Costa Rica. One way that she described Nicaragua is it’s like Costa Rica, but like 20 years ago before it got so popular, The days it’s not near as popular because we, you know, we have a pretty negative commentation and of the area as Americans, but also it has had some political instability over the years.
There’s been a, there’s a million people from Canada. They’re like, they’re like, yeah, it took me 14 hours to get here. I’m like, yeah, I got here in six hours, you know, like, or, or five and, you know, from Austin, cause it’s straight south and pretty easy. And they just don’t have that negative connotation of the area.
And then there all the time, and there’s fantastic surfing. And you can say on Alma temp is this like volcano that you can stay on and right up on a horseback and just, and it’s cost nothing like literally nothing.
My friend has a property up. She owns a property that she, she doesn’t know if she’s gonna go back to but it’s crazy because you can own property there, very inexpensively.
And but there is a little bit of fear around the local war that’s happening there and you can lose it all. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
When we were there you know, we weren’t stupid. Didn’t do anything crazy, but we felt totally safe at the time and that obviously could be fluid, but we were, there was, and also it’s a touristy.
And the fact of the Nicaragua Nicaragua’s touristy, which is nothing like touristy places that are known to house travelers, just fine. Airbnb, places like that. So, yeah. And this is my last question. I end every podcast with this. How would you like to be remembered? Yeah.
Yeah, so in India they have this thing called
So someone who is heart giving, you know, someone who. Is able to give, you know, with less thought involved, you know, so obviously having good boundaries of what I need to do to take care of myself, but being able to give with a good heart and that’s something I feel like is really important. I love it.
Yeah. Well, Neil,
thank you so much for being on the podcast. Thank you for having me. Pleasure. Yeah,
that’s great. Cheers. Yeah. Cheers.
Start now and start where you’re at. I mean, that’s the only thing we can do. I think there’s so many people out there that want to wait until all the traffic lights are green. You know, I make, okay, I need to make sure I have this and have that and enough money bank and missing. And they wait and they wait and, and, and they never get started. You know, what gets started today and get started where you’re at. I mean, chances are, you can do a few small steps to get you moving in that direction. Other things will open up. But if you kind of just stay there and wait for things to be perfect, you’re going to be standing there an awful long time.
I got Nelson here on the establishing your empire podcast. Thank you so much for joining me. This should be a really good episode. Very unique. He’s the author of the unlucky sperm club, which is a very unique name, which will ask how you got up, came up with that name. But why don’t we start off with give us a little story of who you are and what you do.
Yeah. So I’ve got quite the unique origin story. You know, my mom became pregnant with me when she was 15 years old and while she was pregnant with me, her father, who was the local trash collector in a small town in central Pennsylvania drove into the town square. Spotted two police officers stuck a gun out the window and opened fire on those police officers killing one and critically wounding the other.
And eventually my grandfather was captured and brought the stamp, you know, to stand trial for what he had done, where he was facing the death penalty. And during his trial, my mom got up and testified to the jury. That the reason that her father had shot and killed that police officer was that that police officer had raped her.
And she was now pregnant with his baby who was me and That a testimony of my mom’s worked. The first trial ended in a hung jury. Eventually my grandfather was found guilty and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole, where he ended up spending the rest of his life more than 40 years behind bars.
Oh my. So that, I mean, that’s amazing place to start. So obviously. Your upbringing wasn’t easy. Right? So maybe keep, give us a little bit more in that. Yeah. I mean, if you can believe it or not, it actually got worse. My mom, you know here I am the child of a 15 year old mother. Eventually my mom met a man who would eventually become my stepfather, you know, come to find out he was an alcoholic, very physically and emotionally abusive to me and my mom.
Almost on a daily basis. Eventually my mom and stepdad have four children and because of the lifestyle that they’re living, a lot of the basic needs of taking care of my, my siblings fall upon me as the oldest, you know, from diaper changing to bottle feeding, to waking up at 2:00 AM to put crying babies back and.
Because of that lifestyle. My mom would rather me stay home from school and help with the kids then go to school. And I remember in the fourth grade looking down at my report card and, you know, in elementary school, you’re excited to find out who you have for home room the next year. And I remember looking down and seeing straight F’s on my report card and realizing that I would be repeating the fourth grade and I had probably miss 50 or 60 days of school that year.
And the following year, you know, I was placed into special ed. I couldn’t read, I couldn’t write, I couldn’t spell and come to find out I had dyslexia. And that pretty much took me up to that point. And then one day my my stepfather was walking home drunk from a bar. Somebody else was driving home drunk from that bar.
And they ended up hitting and killing him. And it was at this time, you know, as hard as my mom’s life has been to this point and it’s been brutal losing my stepfather pretty much broke my mom. My mom had dropped out of school in the eighth grade, never worked outside of the home, and now she was trying to figure out how she was going to care for, you know, five small children.
And it was at this time that she. Decided that she was going to take her own life and she attempted suicide. And fortunately she was not successful, but whenever she got out of the hospital, it was at that time that she determined that she was going to not, you know, our family got split up and I went to go live with my grandmother, who was the wife of the man who shot and killed the police officer.
So obviously you were saying that it broke your mom, but how did that affect you? Especially, I mean, you could have been that old at this time. Yeah, no, I was, I was nine or 10 years old when this, when this happened. I mean it affected me, you know, I, I was actually, I never wished that my stepfather would die, but it.
Yeah, I wasn’t too upset that it happened. I mean, it was a, it was a living nightmare living with him and everything that went on because of him. Yeah. And then let’s, let’s jump to where, what, there’s obviously something that happened in your life to make you a successful person. So, you know, you have a lot of these things that happen to you really, really tough childhood.
Was there a mentor that came in anything that kind of happened to give your trajectory kind of a different you know, different turn. Yeah. Like I said, after my stepfather was killed I went to go live with my grandmother and I always had a strong bond with her. I mean, my mom had me when she was 15, so I lived with her the first few years of my life.
But when I went to go live with my grandmother, you know, for the first time in my life, you know, there was always food in the house and the lights always turned on when you turned on the switch and I didn’t have to worry about somebody coming home drunk and. Beating me or my mom, and didn’t have to worry about caring for babies.
So my basic needs were kind of met my survival instincts were, were kind of set at ease. And for the first time in my life, I started to really. Think about where I was heading and what type of life I wanted to live. And I saw the direction I was going and I didn’t like it. And then one day there was a counselor that came in from Penn state university and they talked about what it was going to take to get into college.
And I kind of thought at that time of my life, man, if I could graduate from college, my life would be perfect from there on, and you know, you, you know what happens whenever you start to think about something that’s hard, you know, all those voices in the back of your head tell you all the reasons you shouldn’t even attempt it.
And I remember thinking Nelson, you know, you’re in special ed. You can’t read, you can’t write, you can’t spell. And of the family that I came from, my, my mom had 14 or 15 brothers and sisters, and only two of them had ever graduated from high school. None had ever even attended a college. And I start to think to myself, I’ll be lucky to graduate from high school, let alone go to college, but I had nothing to lose.
And, you know, after that, I started to really. Do my best in school with that goal of, of going to college and getting a degree. And, you know, it took 12 years from the time that I set that goal. It took four different universities and four years in the air force, but eventually. I became that person you know, that first person in my family to graduate from college.
And I think this notion of having a goal and trying to reach that goal is very powerful. A lot of times we get unmotivated because we don’t really have a true North. Can you talk to us a little bit more about how, you know, you set that goal or any goal and how you, you know, was there some steps that work for you too?
To attain it, you know, and obviously that’s a really big one, but we, we all have big ones. A lot of times we just are comfortable enough to shy away from them. Sounds like life was uncomfortable so that sometimes can help even. But maybe expand a little bit on your, how you could, how you got that goal and, and your steps to get there.
Yeah. I mean, that, that one goal, I w I really didn’t even know what goals were back then. I just knew what I wanted to do, but after I achieved that goal, that’s when I came obsessed with goals and personal development, and I saw the power of what you know, a goal could do for you and your life and what, you know, personal development could do for you.
And, you know, over the last 25 years, you know, I I’ve bought. Every book, I could get my hands on and, and went to every program I could go to and really used goals and personal development to design the life that I’m living today. And, you know, it’s a life I couldn’t have even imagined, you know? 30 or 40 years ago.
And it makes all the difference. And in fact, I mean, that’s, that’s what I’m doing today is I started a new company it’s called, I got smarter and it is a program. And it’s associated with an app that helps people achieve their life’s biggest goals. It’s it’s what I’ve used. And perfected over the last 25 years as I’ve used goals in my life.
And I know, you know, the power of it because it’s not just affecting the person who accomplishes the goal. In my case. And in a lot of people’s cases, goals are generational because of that goal that I was able to achieve in the goals that I have, you know, been able to achieve since then, it not only has it changed my life, it’s changed my family’s life and they’re living a drastically different life than I lived.
And that all started with that one goal. And, and their families are going to be living drastically different lives. And that’s the power of. Goals and, and becoming that better version of yourself and striving to reach your potential. And that’s what I got smarter does for people, you know, whether you’ve never been able to get past January with a new year’s resolution or you feel like you’re pretty good at achieving your goals.
The I got smarter program will help you take your goal achievement to the next level, no matter where you’re at. So one thing that we always like to do with this podcast is, is how you kind of got started with something like this app. And obviously some goals worked for you, but what was one, you know, what got you the first step to actually create an app or the idea or wherever it was to where you said, okay, this worked for me.
I want to do something with it. Yeah. And like I said, I’ve used goals for the last 25 years, you know, and, and, and built some great success with it and started some businesses have built a good family and marriage. And I kind of became known as that goal guy because, you know, I always talked about it. I loved it.
And eventually gave some talks on it and, and people would come up to me. You know, and say, man, I really need help with my goals. And I need some goals in my life and I’d be all too excited to say, okay, you know, let’s sit down and I’d sit down with them for two, three, four hours, teaching them everything that I knew how to write a proper goal on how to break that big goal down into small goals and set milestones and make sure that they knew what.
Price was going to need to be paid to achieve that goal and all these things. And I’d be so excited for them and I’d leave. And then I bumped into them, you know, two, three, four weeks later, and I’d be excited to see him and like, Hey man, how, how are your goals coming? And they kind of almost, without exception, their eyes would drop to the ground.
They’re like, Oh yeah, Nelson, I need to get back on that. And it was like a kick in the gut, you know I had spent all this time with them and they couldn’t last two, three, four weeks. And what I realized, you know, after doing this with several people was they needed somebody to kind of help them stay accountable to their goals.
And so I kind of stepped in and said, you know what? Let’s let’s be accountability partners. And what I realized was. As soon as somebody else was involved, they took it to the next level. But you know, here, here am, I who’s obsessed with goals. My goal achievement went through the roof too, because I knew somebody else knew about my goals.
And, you know, I knew I was on this something. And eventually I became, you know, accountability partners with three or four people who. We’re working on their goals and found out it was too much for me. You know, I wasn’t charging for this, this wasn’t my job. I, you know, I was just doing it to help people, but then I was on a hike one day and I, you know, I had this.
Pithany, you know, I need to just start a group and then we’ll rotate partners and help each other. And so I did that got 12 people together, you know, and these people came from every walk of life. You know, there were surgeons and lawyers and business owners, and it was during the recession. So there were a few people out of work, but we did it and I taught everybody how to do goals and we all rotated partners to help each other stay accountable and.
When I knew I was onto something was the wives of the men who were in this program. They would see me out and they’d come up to me and say, Nelson, you can never stop this group. My husband is a different man. He’s thoughtful. He’s living life with purpose. He’s this he’s that you never stop it. And then a few years into the program.
All the wives of the men who were in, in my group, they started their own gold program because they saw the benefit of it and they saw how valuable it was in their lives. And that’s when I kind of knew that we needed something like this. And you know, that was 10, 12 years ago. And a few years ago I was able to sell a couple businesses and I got to the stage in my life, like, okay, what are you going to do with the rest of your life?
You know, I didn’t want to watch waves crash on the beach. It’s. Not, not in me. And I started to reflect about, about the kind of life that I had lived, you know, my birth and everything that, that represented. And I started to give that a positive meaning and, and think to myself, you know, maybe I live that life so that I can help inspire other people and motivate other people.
And then that’s when I came up with this idea to help. People through helping them achieve their life’s biggest goals and, and design, you know, for two years I wrote and designed, I got smarter and then build it into an app. And now that’s what I’m out there doing is trying to help people you know, live to their potential and live the life of their dreams.
Yeah. I mean, it’s very similar to, you know, the personal trainer, you know, and, and the accountability of having somebody there. So it sounded like you were able to fund self-funded a little bit, but how did you market this app and how do you currently market out anything that’s worked marketing wise and then I want to dive more into the app, have some more questions there too, but let’s talk about the marketing aspects.
Yeah. I mean, we’re, we’re trying to market it through social media. I w I wrote a book, the on lucky sperm club. You’re not a. You’re not a victim of your circumstances, but a product of your choices and trying to gain awareness through it, through that. And just doing some ads like that and, and really you know, giving some talks, getting on podcasts like this.
So just trying to draw as much awareness to it as, as we can. And then for just whether it’s for you or your app or wherever you want to take it. I assume in order to get stuff done, like this, writing a book, getting an app created, having businesses. Is there any daily rituals that have been helpful for you or that you currently do or recommend others?
Yeah, that’s, that’s part of our app is, I mean, we are what our habits are, right? So we start every day with what we call our morning routine and you know, that, that has a lot of stuff, you know, first of all, we start. By designing our goals and knowing what our goals are and knowing what price you have to pay and making sure that, you know, We’re willing to pay that price, but yeah, every single morning the app pops up and it walks you through your morning ritual.
You know, first we start with gratitude and we’re giving thanks for what we already have, because we realize, you know, if you’re not, if you’re not happy with what you have now, chances are, you’re not going to be happy with what you gain now. There’s a big difference between being happy and having that attitude of gratitude and being satisfied.
We’re never satisfied. We’re always striving to reach our potential. And the app walks you through your reviewing your goals. It teaches you philosophies and it. It walks you through like, okay, today, you know, my goal is I will weigh a hundred, you know, I weigh 185 pounds on February 20th, 2000, you know, that’s my goal.
So what am I going to do today to reach that goal? And, you know, and the app walks you through that, you know, I’m going to work out and I’m going to limit my calorie intake to, you know, 1200 calories. So I know every single day what I need to do to achieve my goals. And then it walks you through that and it auto-populates your task list.
So when you’re done with your morning ritual, which takes five to seven to 10 minutes your entire day is planned out and you know exactly what you need to do. And that now all you have to do is look at your list and start checking things off. And so many people out there think that. They don’t have time to plan out their day and work on their goals and really focus on what’s important.
But what I found as I’ve done this program and use the app is you actually have a lot more time because you’re, you’re not being reactive. You’re being very proactive with your day and you’re working on those things that are truly going to make a difference in your life and not just a browsing your email.
Well, I think it’s very powerful to, to, you know, play on your day before you start your day in, same with the year. And and so and so forth. I can’t remember who attributed to that. I think it was the Tony Robbins or Jim Rome quote, but I also think that if you play in your day, then you know, what, how to measure success.
Like, am I going to be happy that I just got a lot of tasks done? Or is there one or two tasks or three or whatever it is that I will. In the day being satisfied with what myself. And, and if you don’t plan it, then how do you actually know that? So with the, the app, like where like along the path, just so we can take a step back.
Like, where are you at on the, where you want to be versus where you guys are at now? Like, is this early stage, middle stage, or are you guys getting mature with a bunch of users? Where are you? Where are you at right now? You know, w we’re in the early stages, w we actually had a different app, it was called six months to success, but that, that program actually had people meeting in person in groups.
And then this lovely thing called Corona virus struck and a meeting in groups was no longer fashionable. So we had to start all over and redesign our app, which, you know, the I got smarter program was what was in six months to success. So now we’re, we’re redesigning it as it’s a standalone app where, and in this app you can invite a partner and we call them success partners because we don’t like accountability.
It gets kind of a bad rap because you know, you’re, you’re not accountable to me. You’re, you’re accountable to yourself and I’m your success partner. I’m here to help you stay motivated, inspire you and, and, and help you kind of. Do the things that you said you’re going to do, and you can invite them through the app.
And now all of a sudden, when I’m doing my morning ritual, you get an alert as my partner and say, Hey, Nelson just finished his morning ritual. Now that could let you say, Hey, kudos to Nelson. Good job. But it also will remind you that, Oh, I got to get my morning ritual done. And there’s all these little strategies and techniques that we build in there to just make sure that you are Sticking with it and doing it because what we realize, we don’t have a knowledge problem when it comes to achieving our goals, we have an execution problem.
We just don’t do what we know we need to do. And this app, I feel like with the success partner and with the alerts and with the program in the morning and the evening ritual, it’s kind of plugged up all those holes and you almost have to try to fail to, to not achieve your goals. If you’re, if you’re using this app.
What about just someone who wants to create an app or a business wherever you want to take it, because we have a lot of, a lot of our listeners is kind of those ones wanting to be entrepreneurs and stuff like that. What advice would you give for somebody to kind of take some of those first steps to get going?
Well, th th the first step is start now and start where you’re at. I mean, that’s the only thing we can do. I think there’s so many people out there that want to wait until all the traffic lights are green, you know make, okay. I need to make sure I have this and have that and enough money in the bank and missing.
And they wait and they wait and, and they never get started. You know what get started today and get started where you’re at. I mean, chances are, you can do a few small steps to get you moving in that direction. And as you do those small steps in the direction to, to start this business, other things will open up.
But if you kind of just stay there and wait for things to be perfect, you’re going to be standing there an awful long time. What about any failures in your business career that you want to talk about or that would help somebody? Yeah, I mean, I I’ve had a lot of you know, what, and failure is such a strong word.
I, I don’t ever feel like I failed because I never quit. So, but I definitely had some struggles. I mean, I, I built a you know, well, first I invested in a chain of children’s daycare centers. And our operating partner embezzled over a million dollars from us. And. Had to take that business over with no intentions of ever taking it over.
And I write about this in my book, the on lucky sperm club, but eventually a few years after I’ve taken it over and we’re going through the great recession at this time. So business sucks. Anyhow. And one of my directors was leaving and I had to hire a new director. And my regional director came to me with this person that she wanted me to hire.
And it was a man and you know, a man in the daycare industry has a target on him and. I’m like, I’m not hiring a man. I don’t care if it’s illegal or not. I just, you know, people aren’t comfortable, but anyhow, eventually, you know, I took an interview with this guy and he blew me away and was incredible and did a great job until one day I turned on the TV and there was the news outside of my daycare center.
And in the upper left-hand corner was a picture of this male director. And underneath it, it said, you know, Daycare employee charged with child molestation and you know, there’s very few things that are worse for any, you know, anybody, but, you know, a child molester and childcare, but, you know, anyhow, you know, come to find out, he, you know, unfortunately had molested a few of family, friends and not anybody in the, in the center.
But after a year of legal battles in dropping business, you know, down to you, maybe 20% of what we were originally at eventually, you know, we, we figured it out and stayed the course and I was able to recover from that and sell that business. But yeah, I mean, there’s tons of mistakes. I mean, I’ve been blackmailed from employees, from my pet resorts and.
You know, commercial real estate I’ve I’ve, I’ve invested in deals and lost hundreds of thousands of dollars, but, and that’s people need to realize is I love reading biographies. I love, you know, hearing these stories of people who are successful and without exception. Without exception you read into that, you’ll see where they were one or two days away from failing, or one choice away from failing or one choice from the business not going, you know, the direction that it was today.
And we all just have to get through that and people see people who are successful and they think that just happened and it wasn’t hard. And they had no. Trials or struggles. That is the furthest thing from the truth. I mean, every business I’ve ever started, including I got smarter as I’m trying to figure out a whole new industry.
I mean, there it’s hard and it struggles, but the only way that you can fail is when you quit. So you just have to keep at it and keeps you going. Right. You’ve you’ve had some of those. Things happen that would probably just get you boom, dead in your tracks for some people. But is, is it a motivation?
Do you have a big goal in mind? I think you might there you know, what keeps you going. Yeah. I mean, I know, I know if you keep going, you can’t fail. And the only way that you fail is if you’re going to quit and you know, if quitting is not an option, if you’re crystal clear on what your goals are, if you’re crystal clear on what you want to accomplish, you’re clear on what it’s going to take.
Then you, you know, once, once you have a goal, you just don’t quit. And I mean, I find that in every area of my life, I mean, you know, I talk about my relationship with my wife and the struggles that we had and I moved out and we got counseling and, you know last week we just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.
It would have been so easy to throw our hands up, you know, 10, 12 years ago and say we’re done and move on and think that, you know, it was going to be easier or different, but we didn’t do that. And I’m so thankful that we didn’t, you know, we, we have all those memories now and, and a lot less stress because we did stick it out and you know what, we’re not to the end of the road yet.
And we’ll, we’ll have more Strauss and more struggles, but. You know, we, we both have that same goal and, and we keep fighting the fight every day. So let’s talk about the book for a little bit and we kind of, I’m kind of bouncing around, but there’s so many different areas I want to talk to you about.
So first off any, I think you kind of already have, but give us a little synopsis of the book and then what I, what my first question after that will be used, you know, what got you to write a book? Like why. Yeah, well, the book, the book is kind of a memoir slash self-help. I mean, it kind of tells the story one it’s it actually starts with the daycare situation and kind of later in life.
And then I flashed back and forth between my childhood and, and the struggles there, but also the lessons that I learned and, you know, the one thing that, that I truly believe is things only have the meaning that you’re willing to give them. And you know, if you get to assign meaning to everything that happens to you in your life, why on earth would you ever assign a negative meaning?
And I know you have to get creative. You have to dig really deep sometimes on some situations that we go through, but you can always find that silver lining. And I try to give a positive meaning to everything that happens to me in my life. And that in the book is kind of, that is it. I really pull back the curtain because of what we just talked about is people think.
That once you’re successful, you’ve always been successful. You had no trials or no struggles. And I wanted to show all the trials and the struggles and the mistakes that I made but also to prove that, Hey, you can make it through it. And you know, here I stand, you know, 40 years later, 48 years later from what people would have given me every excuse in the book to fail.
So I w I wanted to portray that and. I think it’s done a great job of that. It’s a great read. It’s and it’s inspired a lot of people, but I’m very proud of it for someone who wants to write a book. I think a lot of people I’ve always thought, man, I really would love to you know, write a book someday.
Do you have any advice or tips or tricks that kind of got you through, you know, zero pages to a completed book, right? Yeah. Well, and remember, you’re talking to a guy here who has dyslexia and I cannot spell man. If I’ve ever written you, if I’ve ever written you an email or, you know, there’s somebody who has an edited my work, you’ll see what I’m talking about.
But you know, the one thing that I. That I did was I just started writing down stories and started to kind of, you know, th this, the book that’s out there, the on lucky sperm club is totally different than the book I set out to write. And you know, I, I worked with a company. I mean, I knew I was going to need help with editing, and I’d never written a book before and kind of coming up with, you know, how the book was going to flow and how we were going to put it together.
So, you know, I worked with they’re called book launchers. I’m not getting paid to say that, but they were great. So you can find people out there that can help you do that. And I’ll tell you that the reason that we’re talking about my book now is because COVID struck and everything was shut down for months and months, and months.
And all of a sudden I had all this time on my hands and, you know, again, things only have the meaning you’re willing to give them. And, you know, as sucky as COVID was for a lot of other things in my life, in the world it was exactly what I needed to finish my book. And that’s why it’s finished today.
Yeah. A lot of people frowned upon, you know, hiring companies to help you with a book. But to me, it’s just like a business. Like if I’m going to create an app or a website or new name it, like I’m going to contact some experts to basically celebrate the process. Right. So any rituals with writing though, that you had, is it something where daily, or just when it struck you or anything that would help others?
Yeah, no, you know, I did start to write it as often as I could. I don’t know that I did it every single day, but you know, if I ever went on vacation and just had time, I’d love to, you know, sit down and. You know writing wasn’t great for me. I did a lot of talk to texts, so there were a lot of people out there that thought I was crazy as I was talking to text, you know, and they’re looking at me and wondering who I was talking to.
So, you know, you just have to do what works for you and. I, I think that’s the struggle. I mean, believe me, I could have looked at this and said, I’m never going to write a book. I mean, I can’t, I can’t spell. And you know, I, I can’t write an email, but I found people who could edit and help me and, you know, it’s, it’s my book.
It’s my stories. Did they help me kind of put it in a, a great sequence where the reader would be intrigued and did they help add it and take things out that weren’t necessary and add? Some things were so people were clear. Absolutely. But, but it’s still my book. And still my stories I don’t think it takes away if you get help.
And I think that’s one of the biggest problems with most people have, is they’re afraid to ask for help and look for help. But jeez, I mean, none of us can do it on our own. I completely agree. What about a normal day in your life? Right. Obviously you’ve talked about a lot of rich rituals. Maybe give us a couple of things that you do yourself that helps you kind of achieve all these things that you’ve had have done.
Yeah, I’m, I’m an early riser. And I have I have a little man cave out behind my house that Has my computer there and, and my workout equipment and everything. So I wake up haven’t used an alarm clock except, you know, for a flight or something like that. And in 10 years, and I just wake up and I go out there and I’m working on myself the first, a couple hours of the day, you know, I’m listening to some motivation and inspirational YouTube videos.
You know, watching a podcast, anything that builds myself and then I get in a good workout and I head in and, you know, and then, you know, I’m using the, I got smarter app and, and planning out my day and what I need to do for my goals. And then, you know, I’m in I’m shower and I’m at the office and, and doing everything there.
But, you know, I found it such a huge advantage to get all of that stuff done. First thing in the morning, before all the fires start. And so, you know, it’s kinda like that. Put that oxygen mask on yourself first so that you can help others. And, you know, I always want to take care of myself, you know, through those motivation and inspiration and working out, you know, I’m taking care of myself first so that I can help everybody else around me.
You mentioned some, you know, YouTube videos and some motivational things, and you can go there or any mentors that you’ve had or books that you recommend to people that, that have been powerful for you. Over the years, Monday through Friday, I’m either listening to a podcast or an audio book in my car and I probably listened to 50 or 60 books a year.
And I, who knows how many podcasts, but yeah, I mean, I. That’s the one thing that I would suggest to anybody, if you don’t know where to start, go buy an inspirational book, maybe the on lucky sperm club you know, but listen to something that inspires you and start feeding your brain with, you know, all of this personal development and strategies.
I mean, if you’re in sales, go buy a sales book. If you’re in whatever business you’re in, if you want to become a better husband or. Or mother go buy a, you know, a marriage book or a family book, but you’ve got all this time that you’re in your car, use it to your advantage. And I just, I can’t stress enough how much of a difference that’s made in my life by learning that and putting that great information in there because you never know when you need it.
And when it actually comes out, you know, I was in sales and, and for in commercial real estate. And, you know, for the first three, four, five years of my career, Every I was listening to every sales book there was, and you know, it helped me to become the top salesman, you know, nationwide for that top five firm.
And there’s no way I would’ve ever done that. If I didn’t put in that time and learn those strategies and techniques. And I think, you know, we’re in such a amazing point of time in our, in our lives to where we have so much great audio from so many great people and they’re available to us, but we can just pop it on why we drive, you know, like we don’t even have to go buy tapes and it’s free.
Yeah. It’s free. Yeah. It’s so amazing. So what about like, obviously your rough childhood, any, what advice would you give yourself when you’re your 16 year old self? Right. If you could. You know what don’t quit. Things are going to get better. I mean, I couldn’t imagine living the life that I’m living now at 16 at wa wasn’t, even in my.
You know, realm, or it was like fantasy land and you know, w we are not the person that we’re always going to be. And I think people get caught up into that is like, I’ve always been this way, or I always do that, or this things never work out for me. You know what I truly believe we are exactly where we choose to be.
I mean, we we’ve chosen to be where we are. You know, for, for the most part, I know there’s some, some situations out there, but for the most part, we choose where we, we are right now. And if we don’t like where we’re at. In any category of our life, all we have to do is start making different choices and making the choices that are going to get us to where we want to go, because we truly are the captains of our ship and we are in control.
We just need to understand, you know, how to make different choices and more consistent choices to get us where we want to go. And that’s why I designed the, I got smarter app to help people do that. I think we all have a story that we tell ourselves of who we are. And a lot of people, I don’t think realize the story that they’re telling themselves.
So I think that’s very powerful to understand that and maybe feed your own brain, some, a healthy diet. I want to talk about a subject that in feel free if you don’t want to, but so you had an alcoholic father and I did as well. Any. Have you had any struggles with alcoholism and drugs or anything that has helped you?
Not have those issues. Cause I think a lot of people have parents that have gone through a lot of that and it’s not the easiest thing to overcome. So wherever you, yeah, no, I, you know, I was definitely fortunately never did drugs and I don’t know why you know, it, it was around me as a kid and I just always equated that with trouble.
Yeah. So fortunately for me, I didn’t, but I definitely drank you know, and was a partier and, and ended up you know, meeting my wife and you know, met her at a bar. And but fortunately for us, I mean, faith came into our lives and you know, it’s been 25 years since I drank since then. And, you know, I, I.
I, you know, that’s made a huge difference in my life too, because, you know, I, I haven’t had to deal with that. And, and, and those struggles, and I know what they’re like, because I went through them and the stupid things that I did, you know, I wasn’t a smart drunk by any means. I never was an alcoholic, but whenever I drank, I drank to get drunk and did some stupid things.
And, you know, fortunately for me, I, I don’t think I could have ever been just a social drinker either. So. You know faith came into my life and was able to quit and put that out and it’s made a huge difference for me. So what does that success look like for you? You know what success looks like? When I’m 130 years old, I’m laying on my death bed surrounded by five generations of very productive.
You know, posterity and everybody looking down on that bed and just remembering the great memories that they had with me and, and you know, the inspiration that I was to them. And, you know, also realizing that because of some of the risks that I took, like writing a book and starting new businesses that not only was I able to change my life, but I was able to change the world, you know, one person in one inspiring goal at a time.
Any regrets along the way, tons, tons of regrets. But you know, you look at that and, and you think if I didn’t do that, you know, would I be here, but yeah. I mean, you know, rough, rough marriage when we first started and, and did some things that, that I regret and, and said things to my wife that I regret I never can get back.
So yeah, I, I regret some things, but you know, what. I’m trying, you know, every day I’m trying to become a better version of myself and trying to reach that potential inside of me. And, and you know, fortunately, you know, forgiveness is out there as well. None of us are perfect. And all I’m looking for is progress.
I’m not looking for perfection. And my last question, I end every podcast with this is how would you like to be remembered? Yeah. I I’d like to be remembered of somebody who inspired people and, and was a breath of fresh air and of hope and of a, of a good husband and, and a great father and a great you know, grandfather, well, Nelson, I really appreciate you being on the establishing your empire podcast.
It was a big pleasure of mine to have you on the show. Yeah, I appreciate you having me on. All right. Cheers. Bye.